Naughty or Nice
“Have you been naughty or nice this year?”
That is the one question I always ask children while playing Father Christmas at the tree farm.
The question comes after I ask their name, how old they are and, of course, what they want Santa to bring them for Christmas.
Some of the gifts they request are pretty easy. A new doll. A toy tractor. Or maybe a hoverboard.
It always amazes me at how most kids just want something simple for Christmas. Not a $1000 Xbox or a new motorcycle. Their wants are cheap. We’re the ones who think we have to spend $10,000 on Christmas presents or we aren’t being very good parents.
Bah humbug!
The fourth question I ask before offering my little friends a candy cane is if they have been ‘naughty or nice’ during the previous twelve months.
Invariably, every child states unequivocally that they have been perfect little angels. They don’t seem to understand that you can’t lie to Father Christmas.
We have a spy network that makes the CIA look like preschoolers.
Maybe they don’t understand the question. The correct answer is ‘both.’
I looked up the definition of naughty. Just so I would know what I’m accusing people of.
Webster’s New American dictionary says naughty means disobedient or badly behaved.
There is an entirely other definition of naughty for adults. I won’t go into that but just suffice it to say that the term probably refers to dressing up like a slutty nurse at a costume party.
Nice, on the other hand means pleasant, agreeable or satisfactory.
As in, what do you think of this sculpture I made of Santa from a head or cabbage?
“It’s nice.”
The thing about naughty and nice is that we all waffle between these two behaviors multiple times per week.
Probably multiple times per day.
Unless you’re in a coma or Mother Teresa, you are most likely both naughty and nice.
Hell, I bet underneath that nun’s habit, Mother Teresa was wearing a slutty nurse costume.
Unlike crocodiles, which will kill and eat everything they encounter, us humans experience a wide range of behaviors throughout our daily lives.
And that’s what naughty and nice are. Temporary behaviors.
A person can be nice during the day and go home and yell at his wife because his lucky socks are in the dryer and won’t be ready in time for the kickoff of Monday Night Football.
We are all naughty and nice.
I don’t want to sound ‘preachy’ but a long time ago there was a group of people who wanted to stone a woman for being ‘naughty’ and even Jesus made that same point.
Let you who are without sin cast the first stone.
After hearing that, the people in the crowd dropped their rocks and went home.
We can all be on the naughty list one day and the nice list the other.
Unfortunately, it is really hard to get your name erased from that naughty list. Once you get on it, that stain is often really hard to wash out.
We don’t give people second chances.
I don’t expect the little kids who sit on my knee and feverishly eye the big jar of candy canes on the table next to me to grasp that.
But us adults. Well, we should know better. And we should act like it.
And that means the daily practicing of forgiveness.
There seems to be an epidemic of unforgiveness in our society. It’s not like that everywhere.
In the African nation of Ghana, forgiving someone is an important part of their collective culture. The phrase for I forgive you is ‘bone fa kye’ which loosely translates into there was a bone broken between us that has so completely healed, it leaves no scar.
Buy many of us revel in breaking those bones over and over again.
In my own family, there are people who have not spoken to each other in decades because someone acted naughty years ago. The two parties can’t even recall what was done or said but are determined not to forget it.
So, if you are wishing for something for Christmas this year, maybe it should be to give those people you have cut out of your life a second chance.
It doesn’t show weakness to forgive someone. Especially when none of us are perfect.
Remember those people who dropped the stones and walked away? I bet some of them were related to the woman caught in adultery.
I try to do the right thing. And I fail at it. A lot.
Thank goodness there aren’t any stones handy for those around me or I would surely be the one cowering on the ground.
Little kids don’t want fancy gifts. They just want to be loved and accepted. Just the way they are.
And that goes for the adults in your life, too.
That gay cousin. The stepmother who dared discipline you as a child. That ex-husband who cheated on you and just desperately wants to spend Christmas with his kids.
It doesn’t cost anything to forgive people. And doesn’t require any fancy wrapping.
Maybe this year would be a good year to try it.
And this year if you happen to sit in my lap and I ask you if you’ve been naughty or nice, you should say “both.”
Unless, of course, you’re dressed like a slutty nurse.
